Many people say to us when we talk about the conscious dating process, that it seems too serious. “Where’s the fun?” they say. “I want to make sure to have fun!”
Spending time talking seriously about relationship vision, and conscious communication, etc., doesn’t preclude having fun! First, it’s important to know what kinds of things are fun for you, and to learn from her what kinds of things she finds fun. And going slow during the dating process actually allows you a lot of space for fun.
Some fun activities don’t really leave room for conversation, and others do. It might seem like a lot to have to balance what’s fun for you, fun for her, plus time to have conversations which will help you with the assessment process, but being up-front with each other about what you’re doing and why is very important. And learning what’s fun for each other, and finding out whether each of you might enjoy what the other enjoys is part of the process of getting to know each other.
It’s important, even as you are having fun, to keep the assessment process going. Notice what she does, and what she says, and how she reacts. Keep noticing how that lines up with what you are looking for. And, of course, notice whether the kinds of fun she likes fits with your relationship vision.